the pain!

first real practice on skates yesterday. It was very unnerving. Skating is much much harder than some of the girls make it look. I knew it was going to be hard, and that I was going to be sore. But I also thought I could handle it perfectly fine. I tried so hard on saturday, but I still have to stop and take a break, and after trying again, I had to quit a bit early. I felt like a failure, but I was in pain! I fell right on my butt really hard, and it still hurts to sit, stand up, walk around much, all of that. I think I bruised my tail bone pretty good. On top of that, my legs got really shaky and hurt so bad by the time I quit. It's embarrassing to not be able to keep up. I'm not done yet, I'm so determined to do this, I'm going to bust my ass to get better. I just have to get over being embarrassed and ashamed in the mean time. It's hard to express how much I'm really trying when I'm sitting on the bench. At the same time, I want to WANT to come back and keep working, and that means stopping when I feel like I am going to die. I will be back at the next practice, and I will continue to work until it hurts. I just need patience. I really wish there was someone else newer who sucked as much as I do, so I wasn't alone.

In other non-skate related news, hung out with friends last night, went to Kelli's boyfriend's place and played poker for the first time. We played with chips, no money, and I beat them all! BWAHAHAHA!